Warning Signs of PETS

Many pastors this week are in danger of full-blown PETS - Post-Easter Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Be alert for the most common warning signs:

1. Delusions of glori-us's. Takes many forms, including a mistaken belief that the holiday Christians came to hear your sermon, or that the hightened energy on Easter is a sign of spiritual renewal in the church, or that no one minded the service going a little long with the extra music.
2. Halpewcinations. Imagining more people in the pews than were actually there on Easter day, especially when talking about the service at the pastors' coffee hour.
3. Ifinitus. (pronounced "if-n-i-tus") A persistent itching to tell the church members that every Sunday could be like Easter, if only....
4. Teary-eyed and wheezing. Basically over-exposure to pollen from left-over lilies.
5. Couldarash. Persistent skin-deep welts indicating systemic second-guessing, i.e, wanting to go back and tweak the service and message, to initiate a few more contacts, advertise better, and otherwise improve on a great day.
6. Homiletic fatigue. You gave it your best in your Easter sermon, but now all you can think about is that you have to come up with another one, at least as good or better.
7. Epression. General malaise and apathy resulting from an immersion in the tasks of Easter and missing its meaning.

If two of the indicators are present, the pastor should immediately take an extra day off. Three to four symptoms may require peer intervention. With five or more indicators, do not call 911. Make a reservation with the nearest moving van company.