It's Your Problem to Fix

Lunch with a friend brought me this story and the OK to share it. When the pastor arrived at the small church, the long, long time (controlling) treasurer immediately got upset with him and declared she was resigning. He said fine. He spoke to another lady in the church who agreed to take the job, then ran it through the Nominating Committee and she was elected.

The new treasurer became the target of the old treasurer. Nothing she could do was right. So finally, in frustration, she took the church books back to the old treasurer and quit. When the pastor heard, he was livid. He called the new treasurer and told her to retrieve the books and bring them to the church, the old treasurer had no authority to have them.

Sunday morning the new treasurer arrived with the books. The pastor called several leaders of the church into the office, took the books and locked them in the desk drawer. "Two treasurers have resigned," he said. "That means there won't be any checks written for bills or salaries, until you find a treasurer that all of you can support."

Within three days they had a treasurer.

Here's the beauty of that story. The pastor didn't "own" their dysfuntional structure. He was firm and clear in letting the leaders know it was their problem to fix. What he did was creative. There was some risk involved, but that risk was nothing compared to the quagmire he'd been in if he had tried to "keep everyone happy." May we all learn from his example.

Don't Mess With the Help

Recently I have talked with a minister and a church staff person (neither of them on my staff) who have been accosted right before the worship services. A member of the congregation pulled the person aside to complain, strongly. No questions for clarification, or suggestions, just raw ugliness expressed over the inconvenience the complainer had endured.

Unfortunately this is not a rare occurrence in churches. It’s happened to members of my staff and to me, just not lately. And it is so wrong. What causes some church members to think that verbal abuse of a church staffer is acceptable preparation for worship? Inconceivable, but true. I don’t think that even a legitimate complaint should be voiced at worship time.

I have a rule for my staff members on this (which they don’t always invoke unfortunately). Whenever this happens they are to step away and say, “Stephen has a rule that all complaints are to be taken to his office. I am not supposed to listen to them.” I’ve found that most complainers are not going to go to the trouble of coming to me – it really wasn’t so important that it would be worth the extra effort. And, if they do come to me, they find that the complaint had better have substance; and they’ll have to listen to me talk about the big picture of what we’re about and how this concern fits (or doesn’t fit) in with that.

So, if you are a church member and you’re unhappy about something, make an appointment and talk to the staff member about it. If you can’t do that in a reasonable way, then pray and ask God to reveal what’s keeping you from being a decent person. Don’t mess with the hired help, especially on Sunday. In nearly every case they are just limited, mistake-prone humans trying to serve God while being overworked, under-appreciated and underpaid.

I know that a true “complainer” will never pay attention to a message like this. And while the Church has a lot more encouragers than discouragers, it only takes one or two rotten apples to make the whole bushel seem bad. So, if you ever witness such an interaction, I hereby authorize you to enter the fray and announce, “This is inappropriate, and I’m telling.” Better yet, help create such an environment of encouragement in your church that the chronic complainers will be the ones who feel uncomfortable.

Do Not Be Afraid

Thought a lot about fear this week. It began with an evening conversation with my daughter. We were talking about her Spanish classes and she said she also needed to learn Arabic and Mandarin Chinese. I asked why. She's 16. She said those are the four basic languages, with a bit of French, that will be used when she is older. Here's her future world view: The Americas will all be Spanglish, Europe and the Middle East will be Muslim, Asia will be dominated by China, and I suppose Africa still won't be a player.

Then she said, I hate the way Europe is becoming Muslim, and the countries will gradually lose their identities and there's nothing you can do about it. While Kelsey is an independent thinker, I sensed in the talk that she'd had similar talks with her peers, and so was expressing more broadly held assumptions.

I didn't argue that such radical cultural acquiescence is highly improbable (note the Palestinian-Israeli conflict). Neither did we venture into cultural protectionism (as occurring in France - e.g. with laws limiting cultural dress in public, or the ghettoising of Muslim communities) or the effects of American interventions. What intrigued me was the latent fear expressed, that her world will be a global divide between the Americas and Arabic-Europe.

It immediately reminded me of the fear from the era of my youth, of a world embroiled in a global conflict between the Communist block and Democratic countries. I remembered the absurdity of nuclear fallout drills - an elementary class learning to wrap coats over their heads and huddling under tables and desktops! Flashbacks of fallout shelters, draft cards, and the arms race flooded my memories. Behaviors and national policies were shaped by our shared fears. Turning and turning in the widening gyre; here the fear comes around again, and yet the center continues somehow to hold.

Next I finished Michael Crichton's novel, State of Fear. I actually don't care that much for Crichton's writing style, overloaded with techno-jargon, and reviews have shown the book is riddled with errors about global warming. But this novel about ecological terrorism did have an interesting speech that essentially said: Nations need a pervasive fear of something, anything, throughout the populace in order to keep us all in line, paying our taxes, and supporting the global industrial-military complex.

A pervasive fear. We all have an assortment to choose from - fear of crime, of incurable diseases, of stocks tumbling, of running out of money in retirement, of ecological disasters, of nations rising up against nations and consuming our youth, and for some, a loss of morality in public behavior. We may not run around crying that the sky is falling, but we absorb the fears and they shape our lives, usually without our even noticing it. Why else at age 16 would you consider learning Arabic and Mandarin Chinese?

And then the words resound in my head, "I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world!" (Jesus, per John 17) I wonder what latent, pervasive fears are shaping me. How would it feel to so trust in Christ's victory, that you can glow through the day like the lilies of the field, or sing like the birds of the air, that do not fret? We might make some of the same life choices (and still learn hard languages), but I think it would all be quite different. The beginning of peace is the death of fear.

Different, but Same

My wife Cynthia was back in prison this weekend, working through a program called Epiphany, with the young girls incarcerated. She told me she counseled with one young lady whose story was horrific - all the abuse she'd been through and the things she'd done. The girl looked to be in her early 20's, but when Cynthia asked the girl's age, she was shocked to hear she was only 16! That's the age of our daughter, who this weekend, as a Certified Lay Speaker, filled in for Cynthia by preaching at her church.

I really don't know what to do with this juxtaposition. Of course, I can be grateful, for being born into a lineage of grace, and being able to pass that on. And I can anguish in prayer, along with Cynthia, for the young women who have little idea what wholesome love is like; who don't know they can trust a Heavenly Father to love and forgive them. But the starkness of contrast between the lives of two 16 year olds leaves me longing for God's Kingdom, where two girls, living in worlds so different, can know the same life-giving grace of God they desperately need.

Then add this to the weekend. One of the ladies in my church, who is fiercely angry about the pews being removed from the chapel, called to say she wanted to drop by the house. She came to the door and handed me a copy of the new book about Mother Teresa: Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light. The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta" edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk. She said that she heard it had just arrived at the book store and since I'd mentioned it in a recent sermon, thought I'd like a copy.

This is the inscription on the flyleaf; To Stephen (and Cynthia), in Christian love (in spite of our disagreements), then,her name. We have distinctly different views of the church facilities. She wants to preserve the historic, Gothic character of the facilities, and I'm more concerned about adapting the rooms to present and future usage. We have our differences, but are bound to one another under the same discipleship, one Lord, one faith, one baptism. It is rare (unfortunately) to serve among people who keep their dissatisfaction focused on the issues and don't personalize the conflict, who can demonstrate love while disagreeing. Different we be, and yet the same, sinners being redeemed by grace.

Chapel Talk

There's a lot of chapel talk in our church right now, and I don't mean prayer. Several of the long time members have become quite upset to see their beautiful chapel without the pews. And since the information about what the plans are for the chapel has been slow getting out, they've done what humans always do, fill in the blank spaces with their own assumptions.

So I've spent a lot of time over the past three days talking with "concerned" people. In the first place, I'm glad they're concerned. That means they are passionate about their church, even if we disagree on the particulars. But it is tiring, especially with all the work going into our big Welcome Sunday.

Overall, as I've explained the possibilities of use, clarified that we are changing the seating but not "doing away" with the chapel, and assured them that if none of this works out in several months, our architect has said the pew seating can be restored to its former glory, the folk have generally offered to be patient and see how it works out - even though they pointedly let me know they don't like the beauty of their chapel compromised.

Change is difficult and exhausting. It is surprising however, and encouraging to see the excitement on a lot of faces as we talk about the kinds of worship services we can hold in the chapel. Even if the pews eventually go back in, the controversy will have at least gotten people thinking about how and whether the chapel is being used, and hopefully considering how they could be using it for outreach. As long as people maintain respect for one another, conflict can keep us from getting stuck in our ways.

After a busy day of visiting and then a Family Night Supper that called for me to speak to a large group about the changes, I was ready to head home last night to my ice cream :)! But I had to meet with the choir about the music for this Sunday. They wanted me to hear the anthem I'd requested they prepare for this Sunday, The Majesty and Glory of Your Name. I sat in the sanctuary, and in listening to them sing, felt grace enveloping my heart. What a gift in the midst of stress!

Wow. I still don't understand how our choir of about 20 can sound like double that number. But what a joy to be lifted by the music from the pressure cooker, to peek at the glory of God. I do pray that whatever we do with the chapel, or anything else we have for that matter, that we can help others gain a similar glimpse of God's glory and grace.