When life is a mess, and more.

With all that's going on right now - a busy time with our Aldersgate Special Needs Ministry, construction at the church, our Capital Campaign wrapping up, and preparing a new parsonage for moving in and the present one for selling - I walked into my office this morning to find the carpet saturated with oily water! A pipe had not been properly capped off during the replacement of the HVAC plumbing.

Not only that, when the line blew, the water shot up the wall and sprayed all over notebooks and files I had set on a small table to organize by projects. This included a historic album the Archives Committee had brought me to look at! Nothing to do but to call for help, move the furniture into the hall, start wiping up the mess, and send for a water vacuum. Our new secretary said she was impressed that she didn't hear any expletives during all this!

I had thought my church office would be my "sanctuary" of stability during all this moving business. So much for my plans! Today I'll try to sort the essentials into a working cubby until the Trustees get the walls washed down and the carpet replaced. I guess you really can't organize disaster. When life is a mess, you live through it.

Speaking of things in upheaval, this is moving day for pastors in our conference. My prayers today are for these pastors and the churches involved. That group includes my wife, but thankfully, not me. Yet when I got in last night from a late meeting her somber mood reminded me of the difficulty of saying goodby to people you love and with whom you have shared life and ministry. It is tough, and you don't have time to catch your breath, much less grieve. The next day there's a new congregation waiting to greet you.

Next year our Conference moving date will move to the last Wednesday of the month of June, further extending the "lame duck" period. Wish there was a way we could designate the week just before moving as "off duty" for those involved in a move. We could use our Retired Pastors and Lay Speakers to fill the pulpit that last Sunday and handle pastoral emergencies and visits during that week. Better yet, it wouldn't count as vacation.

Moving pastors could use the week as they choose, packing, family time, leisure activities, or whatever would help them make the transition from one flock to another. Perhaps some of the time could be spent in prayer and reflection on the ministry coming to an end, and assessing how to take the lessons learned into the new setting. Time perhaps for cleaning up some of the mess, before living into another one?

Passing the Baton

Had supper with a friend who is changing jobs, a good thing for him. In our conversation we talked about the things he'd accomplished and the things he wished he'd accomplished, and I shared the same with him. Then he said something that maybe isn't new, but still was so appropriate to his situation, and, I thought, to the many ministers who are moving to new appointments this time of year.

He said that when he worked in Child Protective Services the analogy they frequently used was the "passing of the baton." When the baton (the child, the job, the congregation, whatever) comes to you, you run the race the best you can. Then you focus on making a good transfer to the next person and you let go of it. That baton is no longer yours to carry and if you try to hold on to it, the next person will get no where with it.

I pray that there won't be any dropped batons in the transfers made this summer. May those moving trust God as they let go. Besides, another "baton" will quickly be coming your way.

Dare To Change The World

We have been at the SC Annual Conference this week and the theme for the Conference is Dare To Change The World. Yesterday was our Day of Service and the delegates dispursed throughout the Florence area to do mission projects.

I gave blood, then helped some with the sorting and distribution of the school supplies and hygiene kits. There were a lot of supplies collected by the churches and sent to the Conference this year. The first picture is of some of the supplies before sorting. The second picture is of Bishop Taylor visiting with a lady while volunteers worked on cleaning her yard.

It has been a quiet Conference for me. Good to see friends. The ordination service is always special, and the preaching has been very good. Here on the last day a lot of business will be conducted, but hopefully it will all run smoothly. Then it's home to packing for a lot of ministers.

An 80 Percenter way of life

Not long ago I came across a quote by Yvon Chouinard that I think resonates well with those of us who have perfectionistic tendencies, you know, that persistent urge to keep pressing on until it's "just right." It's the 80 Percent Rule (hat tip to Thommy Browne at Artifacts)

“I’ve always thought of myself as an 80 percenter. I like to throw myself
passionately into a sport or activity until I reach an 80 percent proficiency
level. To go beyond that requires an obsession and degree of specialization that
doesn’t appeal to me.”

I think the 80 percent rule has a lot of application in ministry. The various skill groups demanded of a pastor require proficiency but because there are so many, it hinders mastery. And we just have to accept the fact that doing the job well calls for being an 80 Percenter.

And it isn't just skills, it also applies to particular projects and expectations. In a day when we have created appetities for "the best" (the best graphics and media, the best sound on our ipods and boise headphones, the best bodies, teeth, and hair, the best in education, and the best in what the church can offer, etc. etc.) is there still a place for the "good enough?"

Why the Media Didn't Show

The other day the local paper ran a feature article about my daughter and I attending General Conference. In commenting about it, several people (good Methodists, and some other good Christians) have complained that they didn't see anything about the Conference in the news. Ususally, they said, the state paper has an article, but this time nothing.

In a recent post Larry Hollon, Gen. Sec. of United Meth. Communications, might have the answer. His entire post gives good cause for thinking about the quality of news we receive on a regular basis.

The bipolar template of conflict that is applied to many stories from politics to religion and much in-between, creates its own filter and outcome. I believe it manufactures the news in a way that is detrimental to those who are covered.
In this instance the fact that a 13-million member religious community pledged to join a global partnership to end a killer disease (malaria) and raise $100 million to contribute to the effort was not news. In the scheme of things a protracted disagreement over human sexuality, a disagreement that is now more than a decade old, was still “newsworthy” because it involved conflict.

It’s tiresome. Journalism has fallen into a predictable track and when it heads down this particular track it’s increasingly irrelevant. There is nothing new to say about the debate over sexuality, at least nothing new has been said that I’ve heard. So making conflict the rationale for covering an event of this magnitude and ignoring the wide range of concerns of this number of people seems remarkably out of touch.

Overall, Hollon said that with the incompetence of the way mainstream media covers religion, he wasn't disappointed they didn't show up in Fort Worth.

Polka Dots It Will Be

This afternoon I spoke with one of my elderly members who had surgery today to amputate part of her leg. She's suffered for months with pain and has been in and out of the hospital with circulation problems. Now with the source of the problem removed, her health should improve.

She looked at me as I seated myself beside her bed and said, "Stephen, I've made a critical decision."

"Yes ma'am," I replied, using the manners my momma taught me, and wondering what other critical decision she'd had to make after deciding to have the surgery. "What have you decided?"

"I've decided I want polka-dots on my peg-leg."

Then polka-dots it will be!

Getting Ready to Move

Several of my friends (on line and in real life), as well as my wife, are expected to move to new appointments this year. Since I don’t have to move, I’m in the perfect position to give unsolicited advice on leaving an appointment. The only problem here is that someone will direct me to my own words when my moving day appears. Even so, I can’t resist.

There is often unacknowledged temptation to be the super-pastor, hard at work up to the minute the moving van pulls off. Totally Unrealistic, and Inappropriate! Once the announcement is out that you are moving, you’ve basically “left” in the minds of the people. That’s normal, and healthy, as they begin to disengage from your leadership. That disengagement prepares them to more readily engage the new leadership when she/he arrives. So don’t disrupt it. You might dislike the teasing of being a “lame-duck” pastor, but realize that the lame-duck status is necessary and right. Accept the new status as a mandate to giving time to cleaning out files and books and “stuff,” and giving good attention to your own family members. That said, here are my three simple rules for moving from an appointment.

1. Let go what you’ve left undone.
This is often the hardest thing to do. We all have things in our ministry that we didn't really get to, or only partially got done. There are people we still feel the need to visit or counsel. Leave all of these as they presently are – undone, and definitely do not propose or start anything new! Your work is finished there, except for a few acts of closure and celebration. Trust God to care for those who need caring for and to carry the church through the transition. Let go of it. Your ministry in this place, as all ministry, will be incomplete. Draw a line in the sand and give your attention to a good transition.

2. Say goodbye with gratitude, but without promises.
Every pastor has a few people they tend to grow closer to than the rest of the congregation. Maybe you’ve been through difficult times with them, or you just “connected” as friends. Make a short list of these and make a way to say goodbye. Let there be gratitude for the journey shared, but avoid any promises that suggest you can continue to be a pastor to them. Tell the ones you leave that their new relationship to you as “friend” will not be the same as the one they’ve had to you as their “pastor friend.” Whoever your successor is, speak positively of him/her, and encourage the people to make the new pastor feel welcomed and loved as they have done so for you. And don’t overlook staff members in this process.

3. Don’t assume the transition will be good, make it good.
Get your sermons and worship notes for the first six weeks already lined up. You know you will have to write introductory articles for either a bulletin or newsletter. Go ahead and prepare them. And keep a couple of your decent funeral messages on hand. Free yourself from tasks you can expect so you can focus on settling in, and on putting your energies into meeting the new people.
Leave behind “descriptive” (as opposed to “advisory”) notes about things your successor will need to know, as well as an up-dated membership list, a list of shut-in’s and current critical care needs, positive words about people, job descriptions, the name of a trustworthy car mechanic, a list of your favorite restaurants, and, a written prayer for God’s blessing on her/his ministry. And finally, God’s already way out ahead of you and you’re already playing catch-up, so don’t go back.

Dancing with God

A visitor at one of our worship services this morning blew me away with her comments about the sermon. I had just I preached about dancing with God. The sermon used the metaphor of dance to describe the relationship God desires with us. Part of my emphasis was to provide a balance to the popular “purpose-driven” attitude toward life. I said, “God doesn’t need us to achieve anything with all our purposeful behavior, but God did create us for relationship. One way to look at it is to say, God wants to dance the divine dance of creation, life, love, and joy with us.”

My closing illustration was one borrowed from Max Lucado, who tells of a man who bought a book about dancing so he could impress his wife. He worked on the steps and then invited her into the room to see what he’d learned. She watched as he held the book, reading aloud each instruction, and mimicking them with his movements. When he finished, she just looked at him. Instead of affirming him she said, “You’re missing something critical.”

She took the book from him, put some music on, took his hands in hers, and encouraged him to sway to the music with her. Soon they began to move about the room together, not counting steps, but dancing. I encouraged the congregation to begin to sway to the rhythm of God’s Spirit, who transforms our own labored lives into a movement of love.

The visitor spoke to me with a beautiful British accent and told me she loved the sermon. “My husband was a professional dancer,” she said. “I didn’t dance, but he insisted on teaching me. But, I would only dance with him. When he was sick, he would still look at me and say, ‘Dance with me.’ So I would help him into his wheelchair and I’d take his hands and we would dance around the room.” She paused, and finished, “Thank you, that was a most wonderful sermon.”

As strange as it may seem, there is a time to learn your sermon was meant for the stranger passing through, and a time to find healing in remembrance - there is a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Too Many Houses

I don't own a home, but right now I have too many houses on my hands. The Trinity Trustees, after a review of the parsonage earlier this year, decided it was time to buy a newer one. After a special Charge Conference last night, things are moving ahead on the purchase of a beautiful home in a new subdivision.

That means we need to get this home ready for sale, but that's not as simple as it would have been a few weeks ago. Since my wife is changing appointments this year, we have been moving some personal things out of the parsonage at her church so that they can repaint the place and put in new carpeting. The things we moved out we just brought to this parsonage. Now they have to go somewhere else so the Realtors can come in and take photos for the listing. Oh boy.

On top of this, I have two homes to deal with through the Aldersgate Ministry, our ministry for adults with developmental disabilities. One home, in Orangeburg, is completed. So we are working on getting the furniture in and hiring a management group so the four men selected for that home can move in. The other home, in Columbia, is still under construction, and I just learned the contractors put the wrong kind of sprinkler system in it. It has to have a commercial system in the home, so I've got to get that straightened out. This will probably put a 4 to 6 week delay in our plans to open that home, to the dismay of the six women residents greatly anticipating the day they can move in.

It's all nearly enough to drive me crazy, but how can I complain? The church is making sure they have a wonderful home for their minister, we are nearing our ministry goals of providing semi-independent living for adults with developmental disabilities, and my wife no longer has to worry with a parsonage that she only used as a church office. In addition I am aware that so many in our world are homeless.

In the midst of this I recall (with romantic idealism) that when a scribe wanted to follow Jesus, Jesus turned him back saying, "The birds of the air have their nests, but the Son of man has no place to lay his head." (Mt 8) Yes, it is a different world, and it will all get resolved in a couple of months, but right now its just odd to have too many houses on my hands.

An Interesting Thing Happened on the Way to Communion

This past Sunday we celebrated Holy Communion at Trinity. It is usually the first Sunday of the month, but since I was away then, it was moved to Mother's Day. However, Sunday morning I was sick. Didn't know exactly what had hit me, but it felt like a flu or something. I went on to church and at the early service asked my Dir Christian Education, Johannah, to assist with communion. I told her I would do the eucharistic prayer, but that she would handle the elements, and would then help distribute them with the other servers.

When it came time in the service for Communion, we both went to the Table. She stood behind it where I usually do, and I stood to the side. Right as we started and I motioned for her to unwrap the bread and fill the chalice, a clap of thunder resonated over the sanctuary. Needless to say, it had been raining here all morning, but that was the one and only instance of thunder we heard.

Johannah looked at me and asked, "I'm not going to get struck with lightening, am I?" I took a step away from her and said, "I don't think so."

Anyway, the service finished without incident, and at the second service I had our retired minister celebrate the communion. But what timing...