It's all about questions. Short, direct questions. Open-ended questions. Questions that focus endless possibilities into potential next steps. Questions that call out our hopes, dreams and beliefs. Questions that help us sort our priorities. The right question at the right time can change everything.
Just think of a few crucial questions Jesus asked. Not the rhetorical questions of his speeches, or those from debates with the Pharisees, but the questions that intersected the lives of people. To the disciples at Caesarea Philippi, "But who do you say that I am?" To two blind men in Jericho, "What do you want me to do for you?" To the crippled man beside the pool of Bethsaida, "Do you want to be made well?" And to Peter, "Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me?" These are questions that define life itself.
The last couple of days I've spent in a Coach Net training hosted by our Conference and so questions are on my mind. Good coaches work on asking good questions. I know I learned a lot and hopefully will do a better job at this. We've all heard the expression, "Think before you speak." Well, I need to "Think before I ask." Does the question assume a certain answer? Does it seek information or insight? Is it leading or limiting? Is it focused and concise? Does the question reflect the holy gift of sharing our lives?
Preachers are notoriously "tellers" rather than "askers." We all have a "word" we want to say. Plus my personality profile puts me in the "teller" quadrant. So attending to good questions is a continual necessity for me. The Coaching task is not to tell others what they need to know and do. It isn't to solve another's problem or determine the course of action for him/her. Coaches come alongside asking the kind of questions that help others become clear on what it is they feel led to do and how they will get it done.
I imagine the disciples, the crippled man, and Peter never forgot the experience of Jesus' question calling out the truth of themselves. I wonder how often we get such Godly experiences. Can you think of a time when someone's question made the difference for you? What's THE question of your life right now? Ask, and you shall receive.
Showing posts with label Coaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coaching. Show all posts
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
CoachNet 101
As part of our Conferences' emphasis on congregational development, I have been asked along with several others, to become certified as a Life Coach. Since the Conference is willing to pay for it, and it sounds like something I'd like (and definitely could become better at), I agreed.
Today I started the process with a coaching session via phone and computer with my coach from Seattle. Part of the session was an introduction to the CoachNet website and so I thought, "Oh boy, here's the pitch to invest in their products." But I reserved judgment and I'm glad I did. The site does provide products, but a good part of it is set up as a tool for conversation and tracking the coaching process.
Reserving judgment, not jumping to conclusions, staying neutral during assessment - all that is an important part of coaching. And it's difficult to do on a consistent basis. I like to figure things, and people, out. Guess that's one reason I have a degree in psychology and it's probably part of a middle-child profile. But I suppose most of us rush to conclusions on limited information, and with the "answer" we essentially quit listening, or probing for more significant information. So much conflict, and prejudice, can be traced to this.
How can we know a person with just a few conversations? How can we remain open to the uniqueness of each individual, or situation? If this process can help me become better at this, it will be worth it. And there is a stream of grace in this as well.
How many times have I rushed to a conclusion about myself - I'm stupid or inadequate - and in effect shut off the process of growth? Holding off judging myself, as a failure or a success, simply means there's more living to be done. It isn't the score at halftime that ultimately counts.
And the grace is that the final assessment is done by a loving God, One who has called us "beloved children." The One who made us, knows our ways, and has gone to the extreme to forgive us, is the One who gives worth to this mixed bag of stuff I call me. I have to remember that when others label me good or bad, that they aren't God, and neither am I.
Today I started the process with a coaching session via phone and computer with my coach from Seattle. Part of the session was an introduction to the CoachNet website and so I thought, "Oh boy, here's the pitch to invest in their products." But I reserved judgment and I'm glad I did. The site does provide products, but a good part of it is set up as a tool for conversation and tracking the coaching process.
Reserving judgment, not jumping to conclusions, staying neutral during assessment - all that is an important part of coaching. And it's difficult to do on a consistent basis. I like to figure things, and people, out. Guess that's one reason I have a degree in psychology and it's probably part of a middle-child profile. But I suppose most of us rush to conclusions on limited information, and with the "answer" we essentially quit listening, or probing for more significant information. So much conflict, and prejudice, can be traced to this.
How can we know a person with just a few conversations? How can we remain open to the uniqueness of each individual, or situation? If this process can help me become better at this, it will be worth it. And there is a stream of grace in this as well.
How many times have I rushed to a conclusion about myself - I'm stupid or inadequate - and in effect shut off the process of growth? Holding off judging myself, as a failure or a success, simply means there's more living to be done. It isn't the score at halftime that ultimately counts.
And the grace is that the final assessment is done by a loving God, One who has called us "beloved children." The One who made us, knows our ways, and has gone to the extreme to forgive us, is the One who gives worth to this mixed bag of stuff I call me. I have to remember that when others label me good or bad, that they aren't God, and neither am I.
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