Ken looked resplendent in his all white, silk Brook's Brothers preaching suit, smartly matched with white Crockette and Jones loafers. Since his Bible was permanently opened in the center, he read from Habakkah 2. At first the reading about keeping a watchpost did not seem too "Christmasy," but the congregation perked up when he got to verse 15 and mentioned drunkeness and nakedness.
With everyone still shocked over the scandal of Midge's recall for lead- enhanced paint, there was an effort this year to stay focused on the real reason for the season. However, as everyone knows, whenever the Barbies gather, the occasion is ultimately about the clothes, with quick glances to see who's had the latest plastic surgery.
The service concluded with the light of cell phones held high - casting an ethereral glow over each frozen smile, for the singing of that Christmas favorite, Silent Night, Halfprice Sale Tonight."